Overwhelmed by God’s Grace

Moving provinces has its excitement and its tough transitions. It can be tough navigating a new routine in a new city whilst making new friends. That alone can be overwhelming. For me, the most challenging part was navigating it all alongside the needs of my newly turned 3 year old daughter. In midst of a big change I became overwhelmed in motherhood and I needed to be overwhelmed by God’s grace.

Overwhelmed in Motherhood

I started to focus more on the needs of my daughter and less on my own. The pressure of making sure she was OKAY definitely made me NOT okay. Repeating the phrase, “I am not okay” to my husband. Like any big move, it affects everyone involved and he too had his own set of transitions to work through.

Attending to the every need of my daughter left me exhausted to find time for myself. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally I needed a change – a shift, a refreshment – something! How? Through vulnerability and the grace of God.

Overwhelmed by God’s Grace

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

First, I attended a church event solo and had a pastor pray over me. As the pastor asked what I needed prayer for, I couldn’t get the words out, I just started to cry uncontrollably. All I managed to say was, “motherhood”. Clearly there had been feelings I hadn’t yet processed – overwhelming feelings. There I was, new to the church, vulnerably balling my eyes out, asking for prayer. Asking for help through her prayer to receive God’s grace.

Next, I got involved in a mom’s group at church. At the end of each session there is time of prayer. Again, tears rolling down (into my mask (“the tear catcher”, I called it) I opened up with my struggles and received prayer.

Slowly by slowly, I stayed open to God’s grace, making time to receive prayer. I continued to seek God through the love and support of fellow believers.

The Final Shift of Faith

Third example of staying vulnerable and open to God, I asked a friend over the phone to pray for me. Just like the church event, and the mom’s group, I could not speak without tears. I shared my stresses and I shared my struggles. She prayed over me. Over the phone, the Spirit of the Lord used her to bless me. Her prayer was authentic, heartfelt and filled with the presence of God as she began to tear up herself, talking about God’s grace and faithfulness. Something spiritually in me shifted. I kid you not – it was the final shift of faith I needed to focus my heart back unto the Lord.

Be open to receive God’s Grace

Jesus is the hope we look for in all circumstances – in every pain and in every praise there He remains. I encourage you to align yourselves with fellow Godly friends. People in your life you can go to in times of need or refreshment. It is truly life giving. We all have our moments, seasons and times where we cannot grasp the hope ourselves, we need a friend to grasp it for us.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus

Philippians 2:4-5

Poem and a prayer

Lord, turn my pain into praise,
sorrow into smiles,
united to friends who care.

Fill us up, to pour us out,
To love like you love,
United in Christ Jesus.

Amen.

Happy Father’s Day!

To my husband, you’re one amazing father/man and I’m glad in life its not “I”, but it’s “we”. Happy Father’s Day!

To my father and all the other dads out there! Especially when we couldn’t believe in ourselves, you were there to believe in us, for us!

Rock Climbing
Harnessed in, fitted boots, up on a wall,
The goal of this venture is not to fall,
Cannot feel my toes. The shoes are too tight,
This is one area I just can’t fight…
Its supposed to hurt – they will gladly say,
Not the words I wanted to hear today…
Trying to mimic a pretzel like fold,
My legs and arms shaking on the first hold!
Why is this fun, is it enjoyable?
I will quit! but that’s unavoidable…
So I will try again to reach the top,
Only to tremble in thought of the drop,
Argh! I must prove I can achieve my best!
Which means putting my doubt aside to rest…
Forgetting the pain, and height and the drop,
I forge forward knowing one day it’ll stop,
Oh I’m close! I can taste it in the air!
Thank-you, you thank, my belayer down there,
You gave me guidance and strength to do it,
Scared, yet you assured me I could do it!

The Embrace of Jesus

Open arms I am embraced by the King
Wrapped in a blanket – is the warmth I feel
Comforted and secured, I walk in peace
Vulnerable yet, I am put at ease
Completely safe and okay to be me
In His arms is the place where I am free
He died on the cross so all was not lost
Saved by the love of the one living God.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”

Isaiah 40:11