grace Archives » The Blazed Trail

Seeking God

Seeking God is not in vain if you seek: humbly, wholeheartedly and in faith that he will answer you.

What a joy it is to know God wants us to find him because he wants to be found. He wants a relationship with us. He is a forgiving and grace-giving God waiting for us to acknowledge, admit and adhere to his love. Our part is to realize we are in need of him; the start to seeking.

Personal Testimony

I grew up in a Christian, God-serving, church-going household and I am forever grateful for my upbringing as my parents guided me to faith. Growing up, I also grew very passionate about playing basketball with the goal to receive a scholarship to play in university. In 2007, I achieved that goal and accomplished a great rookie year. However, the academic side of school became a huge stress in my life and basketball became more of a job than a sport I loved. I started to question my own happiness and wondered where God was in all of this. I worked so hard, yet became so unhappy. Aren’t “Christians” happy people? I’d often ask myself. I realized I needed help beyond myself. I needed God.

Seeking begins with a realization we cannot save ourselves.

Summer of 2008, I cried out to God in desperation to find this “inner peace” and “joy” I heard so many times in church. Why hadn’t I found this to be true for me? I went straight to the source – God in prayer. Laying it all out, my fears, disappointments and feelings. Then, after much prayer, I decided to take a year off to learn about my identity as a Christ-follower instead of a basketball player.

Seek and you will find.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

I sought God in prayer, surrendering my scholarship or what else I knew to give me happiness in exchange to learn more about following him. So, I asked God for three things: the ability to keep training my basketball skills (to keep the option of playing again probable), to get a job and to travel. Within three weeks of this surrendering prayer, God answered me. I received a job as an assistance basketball coach, whilst on the side being trained by the head coach. As well as, working as a front desk clerk for GoodLife Fitness (which included a free membership). Then a friend invited me to join her to volunteer for a bible school called, “Youth with a Mission” (YWAM) in the Sunshine Coast of Australia. God gave me the three specific things I asked for in prayer (basketball training, a job and travel). To me that was confirmation that God heard my prayer. Now, it was my turn to learn about following him…

I took the year off to travel and seek God.

I took a year off of university and set off in January 2009 to travel with YWAM in Australia. During my time volunteering with the Bible school I got to sit in all the Bible lectures teaching me about how to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

One day I can remember the moment that all my seeking came to a halt because the presence of God met me. It was during a worship song and prayer time. I felt so discouraged that I made all this effort to serve God and I still didn’t feel he was near. I became mad and left the room towards a bathroom stall to pout. Then I prayed again, “God, why aren’t you answering me? Don’t you see all my effort I am doing to pursue you???” I will never forget the immediate answer I felt in my heart from the Lord that day. I heard within my Spirit God say, “Emily, you are here because I pursued you”.

God is always in Pursuit of you.

God wants a relationship, a two-way-street. He wants us to respond to his pursuit of love for us. For me, I realized he wanted more than just faith, he wanted my participation or willingness to allow him to change me. The moment I realized he wanted my participation was the moment our relationship became real. He wasn’t forcing me to follow him, he was waiting for me to say “yes”.

You seeking him is a response to that initial pursuit of his.

Saying “yes” to God means repenting of our sins and adhering to his will. We learn about his will through reading the the Bible. Understanding God’s character makes his presence more known than simply waiting on a physical “feeling” to emerge.

The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.
Psalm 14:2

I am more aware of the presence of God because of how much more I know about him. And one thing I know about him is that he calls us to seek him diligently (Proverbs 8:17) and continually (1 Chronicles 16:11). In all things and in any circumstance he is there and he is approachable because his love for us came before our love for him.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Seeking God will change your life as it did mine.

Deciding to take that year off changed the course of my life and my faith for the better. As it lead to another month of travel and yet another bible school with YWAM in Montana, USA, called: Summer of Sports. Continuing my training on the court whilst training spiritually off the court.

After that year off, I was able to return to my university basketball scholarship and finish my degree. What a miracle that was! Praise God!

Why I share my story.

I share part of my life to encourage you that when you seek God with your whole heart, your seeking is not in vain. Every time I go back to God, whether its in a life-crisis or a day’s stresses, he answers me. He answers me in peace to not understand why some things happen and others don’t. In joy, knowing I am secure in my eternal fate or in friendships and community when I experience change and transition. The Christian life isn’t a perfect one but it is a content one, which was the most important thing I’ve learned in my year of seeking God. As I understood that my identity is not in my ability to play basketball or in my ability to make people like me, but it’s found in the acceptance of Jesus Christ.

Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment,
1 Timothy 6:6

What about you? Are you seeking God, willing to trust he’ll find you?

Are you seeking? Searching, pursuing, thinking, mediating, or striving after God in order to be found? As we seek God in faith, we trust that he answers us in the best way possible. Trusting God knows us better than we know ourselves, which includes the answers and outcomes of our prayers. We can be uncertain of how God will answer, but certain that he does answer. There is not an if he will answer but a HOW he will answer, which is the beauty of faith. When we trust in the character of God and rely on the previous testimonies of how he met us before (or others we know, or people in the Bible), we are more willing and continually able to seek him again and again.

Come to Jesus, in the current mess you are in, because your search after his presence is not in vain rather it’s a miracle in waiting.
The Blazed trail

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10

Overwhelmed by God’s Grace

Moving provinces has its excitement and its tough transitions. It can be tough navigating a new routine in a new city whilst making new friends. That alone can be overwhelming. For me, the most challenging part was navigating it all alongside the needs of my newly turned 3 year old daughter. In midst of a big change I became overwhelmed in motherhood and I needed to be overwhelmed by God’s grace.

Overwhelmed in Motherhood

I started to focus more on the needs of my daughter and less on my own. The pressure of making sure she was OKAY definitely made me NOT okay. Repeating the phrase, “I am not okay” to my husband. Like any big move, it affects everyone involved and he too had his own set of transitions to work through.

Attending to the every need of my daughter left me exhausted to find time for myself. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally I needed a change – a shift, a refreshment – something! How? Through vulnerability and the grace of God.

Overwhelmed by God’s Grace

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

First, I attended a church event solo and had a pastor pray over me. As the pastor asked what I needed prayer for, I couldn’t get the words out, I just started to cry uncontrollably. All I managed to say was, “motherhood”. Clearly there had been feelings I hadn’t yet processed – overwhelming feelings. There I was, new to the church, vulnerably balling my eyes out, asking for prayer. Asking for help through her prayer to receive God’s grace.

Next, I got involved in a mom’s group at church. At the end of each session there is time of prayer. Again, tears rolling down (into my mask (“the tear catcher”, I called it) I opened up with my struggles and received prayer.

Slowly by slowly, I stayed open to God’s grace, making time to receive prayer. I continued to seek God through the love and support of fellow believers.

The Final Shift of Faith

Third example of staying vulnerable and open to God, I asked a friend over the phone to pray for me. Just like the church event, and the mom’s group, I could not speak without tears. I shared my stresses and I shared my struggles. She prayed over me. Over the phone, the Spirit of the Lord used her to bless me. Her prayer was authentic, heartfelt and filled with the presence of God as she began to tear up herself, talking about God’s grace and faithfulness. Something spiritually in me shifted. I kid you not – it was the final shift of faith I needed to focus my heart back unto the Lord.

Be open to receive God’s Grace

Jesus is the hope we look for in all circumstances – in every pain and in every praise there He remains. I encourage you to align yourselves with fellow Godly friends. People in your life you can go to in times of need or refreshment. It is truly life giving. We all have our moments, seasons and times where we cannot grasp the hope ourselves, we need a friend to grasp it for us.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus
Philippians 2:4-5

Poem and a prayer

Lord, turn my pain into praise,
sorrow into smiles,
united to friends who care.

Fill us up, to pour us out,
To love like you love,
United in Christ Jesus.

Amen.

Simply and Always Remember to PRAY

I’m a sucker for a good product. Especially anything that helps my baby/toddler to sleep! Who doesn’t love a good nights rest? So, I have all the machines – white noise, lullaby music, grow clock, sleep sack, stuffies, blankies… and don’t get me wrong, they work great! Until they don’t. It’s this: “until they don’t” that gets me all worked up. What? My child NEEDS ME? In the middle of the night?! What about these MACHINES?! Gimmicks. Nothing but eye-catching gimmicks that if she didn’t have them – I’m sure she’d sleep just fine. If not, the exact same. She falls asleep on her own – that’s all you want as a parent. Sometimes I rely so much on the MACHINES to do “their job” that I forget to do mine – pray.

God knows best.

To pray and ask God about what my child needs and who SHE is. Every mother, has a different birth story – no birth story is the same. Just like every person is different and no person is the same. I love mom blogs and resources that help me parent well. I love books, tips and tricks – of course! The conviction for me comes when I rely more on the gimmicks than Jesus to teach me how to parent.

Remember to Pray…

Dear Jesus,

Not only do you know my daughter, but you created her, and loved her before I did. Thank you for the gift of bringing her as my own and allowing her to call me “mommy”. What a treasure that already is to being someone’s mother. Forgive me Lord, for I have put my trust in gimmicks more than in your wisdom to teach me. To teach me about my daughter, her needs and her character. I pray that you would help me become a gracious, loving and wise mother to this specific little person; whom I call my daughter.

Thank you for your wisdom.
Amen.

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6

Repositioned

In a team sport or in the workplace when you get repositioned it can be hard to accept. Especially, if you have been in that position for most of your career. Then all of a sudden with the new team, coach or boss you’ve been called to a new role. “But that’s not me!” “I don’t know how to lead that way!” “I am not comfortable…” However, the authority is not yours to choose.

When you give Jesus the authority over your life you are repositioned “with Christ in God” (Col 3:3). Scripture says you have become a new creation, “the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Cor 5:17). Repositioned from death to life, becoming “born again” (John 3:6-7, 1 Peter 1:2-4, Eph 2:5-6).

I had a dream. (MOST dreams are exaggerated pictures of your current reality and emotional state that have hidden symbols/messages meaningful specifically to you. God uses dreams to communicate with us). In my dream I was passing by a rowing team practicing on the sand. I approached one rowboat and the coach said to me, “sit up front”, (where the team leader sits). I looked back and saw all the rowers on the boat and asked the coach, “shouldn’t I be back there rowing with them, I have a strong build”. The coach replied, “I have bigger girls than you back there, you stay up front”. So nervously (with excitement) I did so without knowing how. She explained to me how to direct and lead the boat with my legs crossing over from one to the other. Then she said, “You’re ready!” And I looked at her and replied, “This is going to be intense”.

Dream over.

As we repent of our sins and accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, we receive the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38). The Holy Spirit becomes our spiritual guide. He acts as our coach who directs and counsels us to live like Jesus (John 14:25-26, 15:26); and how did Jesus live? He led. In my dream I told the coach, “shouldn’t I be back there with the others? I have a strong build!” But the coach said, “I have bigger girls than you back there, you stay up front!” Where I was more comfortable to lead, there was no room, the position was already (perfectly) filled. It was up front where she needed me. When you become a Christian, Jesus doesn’t just reposition you, He calls you to the frontlines – he makes a leader out of you! In my dream, I naturally saw that I was strong enough to help where I knew I could. But when God calls you he sees much greater things in you than you do in yourself (Romans 8:17, 37). Sometimes the call on our lives is greater in HIS eyes than our own. We must seek him in order to supernaturally see it. Another part of that conversation I had with the coach meant not one role is better than the other. We as Christians are unified in Christ – we are all part of ONE Body but make up many parts (Romans 12:3-8). Your part in leadership can evolve, change as you grow in Christ. Perhaps, I was once better “rowing with the rest of them” now God is calling me to lead up front.

Where is God calling you to lead? Where have you been stuck feeling too comfortable and God is saying, “hey I already have leaders there, I need you over here…” Perhaps you have been a Christian your whole life, decades of waking in faith, but are feeling stagnant. In my dream the coach explains in order to lead the boat I needed to “cross over” with my legs. (Sometimes depicting symbols in dreams, God uses “play on words” to help us discover more of the message.) Where in your life have you felt God asking you to cross over into a new position? Regardless of the position God gives you, it takes training and belief that He can do it through you. Rowboats obviously race on the water, but in my dream it was on the sand. So the interpretation meant the team was in “dry-land” training. In sports, there are “dry-land” seasons (also known as “pre-seasons”) before the competition season starts. In these seasons the athletes work on their weaknesses, such as increasing strength, skill or team chemistry, so when competition starts they are at their best.

Just like being a follower of Jesus, we must always be in “dry-land” training or “pre-season”, getting trained up in the Word of God. So when “season” hits – or “life gets in the way” we are ready.

Matthew 7:24-29 (NIV)

²⁴“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ²⁶But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. ²⁷The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

²⁸When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching,²⁹because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

Pursue your leadership daily with Godly training, aka-studying scripture. Being built up with the Word of God, so you may lack nothing and persevere through the intensity of being repositioned to lead as Jesus led (James 1:4).

Weakness In The Way

Understanding how to manage your weaknesses will help you to learn how to manage and elevate your strengths. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses, they come as a unique package, you cannot have one without the other. Which means we must not focus on only one but have an understanding of both.

The interviewer asks, “What are your strength and what are your weaknesses?” Not, “do you have any weaknesses…?” It is already assumed that every person has them. The question is then, how can I help you in achieving your strength’s despite your weaknesses in this job role? It is inevitable that you are going to have weak areas about you that hold you back from being your best. What are they so I can be of best assistance to you?

Imagine for a moment that God is the interviewer, except instead of asking you, “what are your weaknesses?” He tells you what they are.

Not to discourage you but to encourage you that even with your weaknesses He can be of best assistance for and through you. But first you must know what they are.

Benefits of knowing your weakness is so you can avoid the element of surprise when they arise. For example, the element of surprise may come in a form of anxiety, and without knowledge or time to process why that feeling arose it can spiral to a panic attack. The goal is to not let the weaknesses hold you back from moving forward. The goal is to acknowledge their existence to better manage their feelings.

I want to encourage you that you are not defined by your weakness, but by your ability to manage them for strength. Seek God in question: “What are my weaknesses that keep me from elevating my strengths?” “Show me how YOU can assist me in my weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 NIV

⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This is how we manage our weakness; we replace its power with God’s grace through prayer and submission. The focus does not shift on your own power but on the power of the cross. Your weakness is not a set back – it’s a breakthrough; an opportunity to glorify God.