Marriage vs. Singleness – is one better than the other?

Marriage vs. singleness are they at odds? This is a great topic to discuss because the Bible outlines so many different situations or scenarios that people are in. In this post, I simply wanted to start with one verse in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 where Paul touches on marriage and singleness. Paul says both are a gift from God. So let’s ask the question, when it comes to marriage vs. singleness – is one better than the other? What does the Bible say?

In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul, who remained unmarried, talks about his own singleness and how he wishes more would remain single as he. Simply because of the work he did for spreading the Gospel message. He had no restraints other than his own devotion to the Lord. Of course that is his own bias opinion. But what he teaches after is the main focus I believe he wants us to hone in on. Let’s read the verse and discuss why marriage and singleness are not at odds with one another but each its own gift from God.

It’s a gift.

1 Corinthians 7:7 : “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”

Paul said each has its own gift from God; like spiritual gifts differ within the body of Christ so does marriage and singleness differ within the body of Christ. Each gift has its own purpose and plan designed specifically by God. Also, we are not about to tell you which is best for you, as the Bible outlines very clearly its up to the individual and God. There is no more importance in having a spouse than staying celibate and single. Each is it’s own gift from God, which means, each has a divine and important purpose in itself.

However, situations between persons may differ. If a single person is unable to resist their urge to stay celibate than its best for them to be married. As sexual intimacy must stay within the marriage bed as it is a spiritual union not just a physical one. 1 Corinthians 7:9, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Find Contentment over Resentment

Paul is happy that God has given him the gift of being content with remaining unmarried. Since this permits single-minded devotion to the Lord’s work. The key word here is “content”. Comparing our situation to our neighbours is a dangerous slope for our mind and our faith. If we start to view our situation as resentment and not find contentment we will be in competition with one another and not in unity. We must use our gift to see that its good. A gift is something to be used, admired, and thought highly of; especially a gift given by God!

Marriage vs. singleness – is one better than the other?

So, what is it then, one vs. the other? Would you say when it comes to spiritual gifts like prophecy or teaching one is better than the other? Paul says view marriage and singleness both as “gifts” and what do we know about “gifts”? In Romans 12:4-6, Paul says: “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.

I do want to make clear that this post is not talking about if you are currently single that means that’s your purpose forever. Its simply stating that one is not better than the other – but each are a gift from God. Your gift can change into marriage one day. It is more about what we do now with our gift that matters, allowing God to take care of our future in His awesome plans for us.

Live as you are called… in this moment.

Paul continues in, 1 Corinthians 7:17, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.”

Pursue what gift God has given you today. If that’s marriage – pursue that in a Godly way, if that’s singleness – pursue that in a Godly way. Lets see our “relationship status” as a gift from God’s amazing grace. So we don’t lose sight of His bigger purpose which is making Himself known through us to the world.

Time and Purpose

Procrastination

Learning something new takes time – this is true,
The reading, thinking, the studying too,
Failure then improvement is how we learn,
Unavoidable, yet a good return,
I know I will find my joy by the end…
As for now, I’ll imagine it instead.

The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh.

Ecclesiastes 4:5

Refusing to work only ruins yourself. Don’t allow procrastination or predication of “what might be” stop you from living with daily purpose. Procrastination tells you, “wait for the perfect time” and God tells you, the time is now (2 Corinthians 6:2). We need to trust in God as He is the creator and ruler of time itself, the beginning and the end. We will make ourselves dizzy like a dog chasing his own tail trying to predict the future or wait for the “perfect time”. There is no time for procrastination and predictions. Time is for purpose and that time is now.

He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.

Ecclesiastes 11:4

Purpose made simple by Jesus.

Jesus made purpose simple not complicated. It starts with acknowledging that we are all guilty of sin against God’s judgment and in need of a saviour and in knowing this God gave us Jesus.

Jesus (%100 God and %100 man) died on a cross as a sacrifice for our sins (John 3:16-18), which tore the veil between us and God (Matthew 27:51). Signifying that we can now have a direct right relationship with God Himself. Three days after His death, Jesus was resurrected. He seats in heaven, living today and passes along His living Spirit to all who believe (Luke 24:46-48, Romans 8:9-11).

The crucifixion and resurrection of Christ is a perfect act of love that I choose to follow. The moment I repented of my sin, asking for forgiveness and accepting Jesus as my saviour – my purpose for life began (Galatians 2:20).

Although my vocation, location and “dreams” change, my purpose remains the same. I glorify God as the Truth, the author and finisher of my life. So whatever work I choose to do or whatever life throws at me – I do it with the intentional purpose of giving God the Glory because He gifted me hope through salvation and eternal life.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

Time and purpose found in God.

Who created all?
Do we have a call?
Does it just depend?
Who stands in the end?

Striving to win, always getting ahead,
Complaining as we lie our heads to bed,
Just to beat someone else in a moment,
No one wins – everyone’s an opponent.

Only to circle back losing the trail,
Like a dog chasing his own stubborn tail.
The status, fame, followers and fortune,
And then your gone, alone and forgotten,
Wondering, what or whom shall you live for?
It’s God, who knows you, made you, long before.

With questions and answers – this sets us free,
No one can enjoy life apart from He.

There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?

Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

We do not have to live life on our own. Placing our hope upon things in this earth – as everything is fleeting and a “chasing after the wind”. I think now, is a perfect time to understand your life’s purpose.

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“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
    and establish the work of our hands upon us;
    yes, establish the work of our hands!”

Psalm 90:17